But I had to – and here tears of empathy for the princess welled up in my eyes – tell the three little people, whose lives were absolutely pivotal, what no child should ever have to hear. “On the outside I nod my head and ask endless practical questions,” I wrote in the diary of my shock diagnosis of breast cancer, when I was 39, that Fashion published in May 2017. “But inside I’m screaming. My surgery to remove the tumor is scheduled for February 10th. My children’s six months. And that’s when the tears come. My children. Mine children…”
My children were ten, seven and three at the time. George, Charlotte and Louis Wales are 10, eight and five. I will never, as long as I live, forget the moment my husband and I had to line them up on the couch – because we felt it was serious, there was none of their usual jostling and chatting and asking for food – and tell them so. Mom had cancer.
Before releasing the news, I sought advice from psychotherapist Julia Samuel – a family friend and founder, protector and trustee of Child Deaths Britain– about how we can best move forward. Julia is wonderful, friendly and extremely knowledgeable. She also happened to be Catherine’s late mother-in-law and Diana’s best friend. Almost more than anything, I hope Julia gave Catherine the same advice she gave me.
Practically speaking, she said, the language should be simple. Bad news and good news. The bad news? Mom has cancer. The good news? That it has been found and that the doctors know exactly how to treat it. “Okay, okay,” I said. “So I’ll tell them I have cancer, and then I’ll promise them I’m not going to die?” And here the bomb fell. “You can’t tell them that, Chloe,” Julia said gently. “Because that’s a promise you might break.”
“Are you going to die?” my seven-year-old daughter squeaked as her ten-year-old brother buried his head in his hands and their three-year-old sister rushed off to get her doctor’s bag. And all I could do was hold her tight and tell her that of all the cancers I could have gotten, mine was one of the easiest to cure.
