Parents often protect their children from conflict. That’s a natural impulse. But by exposing children to real problems and showing them that they can overcome those problems, their children learn to embrace the world instead of fearing it. It is an affirmation of both reality and possibility. The lesson the children learn is that they should not be guided by the fear that they will not succeed. In this article we take a closer look at how successful entrepreneurs are raised.
Raising successful entrepreneurs
Alexis Jones, creator of I AM THAT GIRL, an online empowerment community for girls, learned from her mother, Claudia, that improving your life takes a lot of effort. Claudia taught an automotive repair extension course at the University of Texas, worked nights as a bartender, and went back to school at age 43 to get her BA. She modeled how to be independent and how to rely on yourself to make things happen.
Claudia always let Alexis choose her own path and make her own decisions, and supported everything Alexis wanted to do: from sports to modeling, from acting to public speaking and getting a degree.
When Alexis was accepted into a graduate program at the University of Southern California but had no money to go, she found a garage in Beverly Hills that she could rent to live in for $135 a month, then paid her school with scholarships and student loans. Alexis completed the two-year program in one year to make it more affordable. Now through I AM THAT GIRL, Alexis is empowering girls around the world in the ways she learned for herself.
Close and supportive relationships
Alexis and her mother are among today’s 70 successful entrepreneurs and their parents that I interviewed about how to raise a successful entrepreneur. The close and supportive relationship between parent and child certainly played a role. Whether an entrepreneur grew up in a family that was large or small, rich or poor, traditional or unconventional, with one or two working parents, the effect seemed the same: a lasting sense that there would be a safety net if ever needed. .
Many close-knit families don’t produce entrepreneurs, of course, but supportive, close-knit families tend to be the ideal environment for producing confident children; and confident children often grow up to be enterprising, risk-taking entrepreneurs. What seemed to have made the difference was the encouraging, trusting and supportive attitude of their parents.
Among the seventy entrepreneurs I interviewed, I looked carefully at family structure to see if there was one type of family from which these remarkable entrepreneurs emerged. There wasn’t. Some came from the archetypal nuclear family: mom, dad, a few kids. Many had divorced parents or were raised by single mothers. Some had mothers who stayed home to raise them, some had mothers who worked, and some had mothers with intensive careers who worked all the time. Some were the eldest of several siblings, some were the middle child, and some were the youngest of their siblings. Others were just children. Some were in blended families with step-siblings and half-siblings. Some grew up with adopted siblings.
Some of the entrepreneurs came from wealthy families, some from middle-class families, and some from families that were barely making ends meet. Some came from families that had lived in the U.S. for generations, some had immigrant parents, and some were born in other countries.
When I look at all these families, I have to conclude that what matters most is not how your family is composed, whether your parents are married, or even whether you have two parents. The most important thing is your parents’ attitude.
It’s not just about your family – whatever your family looks like – loving you. What matters is that you have them to believe in you. That they encourage you to follow your passion, trust you to make the right choices and believe that you can do anything you put your mind to.
That’s one of the biggest lessons that came out of my interviews: all parents love their children, but all these entrepreneurs have parents who also believe in them, support their passions, encourage their dreams and tell them not to worry about inevitable setbacks.
When a child has a strong, safe home and is given responsibility, the results can be spectacular.
Margot Machol Bisnow
spent 20 years in government, including as FTC Commissioner and Staff Director of the President’s Council of Economic Advisers. For the past decade, she has spoken to parent groups about raising creative, confident, and resilient children who achieve their dreams.
She was a consultant for EQ Generation, an after-school program in New York City that gives children the skills to succeed; on the advisory board of the MUSE School in Malibu, which prepares youth to live consciously through passion-based learning; and on the board of Spark the Journey in Washington, DC, which guides low-income high school students toward college and career success. Her new book is Raising an Entrepreneur: How to Help Your Kids Achieve Their Dreams – 99 Stories from Families Who Did. More information at increasesentrepreneur.com.
