Emotions are high right now. We just completed a national election that has upset some and excited some. There are also holidays coming up that will bring many families and friends together. All this means that many of us experience a lot of stress.
At our core we are humans and what sets us apart from robots is that we have thoughts and feelings. These feelings lead to stress and anxiety that need to be addressed.
The Wisdom Research Project
I recently conducted a study called The Wisdom Research Project, which involved interviews with sixty wise adults. I was able to scientifically define eight different elements of wisdom: resilience, kindness, positivity, spirituality, humility, tolerance, creativity and curiosity. While I identified the eight elements that make up wisdom, I was most impressed by the sense of peace the interviewees had about them despite experiencing great hardship. It’s that underlying positivity that we all need to develop to get through this time.
Here are ways to find that positivity and a sense of peace to ease stress during the holidays and after the election.
1. Live in faith, not in fear
We’re dealing with a lot right now. As we try to bear our fear, we must soften the “blow” we feel by believing that everything will be okay. It may not be what we want or what seems desirable, but they are shall to work out. Remember, we cannot control the outcome, but we can control the way we respond to the situation.
For example, if you’re worried about arguments between family members during the holidays, imagine a world where they don’t clash. Think of a scenario where they get along and enjoy each other’s company. Isn’t that thought “lighter?” Doesn’t it put less pressure on the situation and the outcome?
2. Let go of worries
If you are disappointed by the election, your concern about the outcome does not change the end result. Worry only increases anxiety and affects your prospects.
Have you noticed that your daily worries rarely become reality? Worry leads to unproductive emotions. They must be recognized and rejected. Yes, it’s easier said than done, but practice will help.
3. Acknowledge the stressor
The first part of dealing with a stressful life event is addressing it head-on. Take a step back and give yourself time to identify what is at the heart of the stress.
Many feel that just writing down their thoughts helps them process them. If you are concerned about what the holidays may bring or how the political situation will develop, it is best to acknowledge this in a detailed manner.
4. Make a plan
Once you have acknowledged the stressor, the way to address the identified fear is to think of ways to resolve the stressors. Think of all your options and plan ahead.
If you plan to meet family members with whom you disagree politically, you should make a plan to avoid the issue of politics and instead prioritize your valued relationships. Decide how you will direct the conversation so that you avoid any conversations about politics that will only lead to heightened emotions and stress.
5. Practice self-care
This is a busy time of year and there is a lot on your plate. In the midst of all the hustle and bustle, it’s easy to let go of your self-care. But to function well, you need to alternate ways of feeling peace and joy. It is crucial to prioritize moments for yourself. It’s a way to keep your cup full so you can fill the cup of others.
We are human and can only handle a certain amount of pressure. It is essential that you emphasize good nutrition, exercise, sleep, time with good friends and moments of reflection. Try starting and ending your day with deep breathing (with a longer exhalation than inhalation) to help reduce stress. It is what keeps you calm and peaceful. Adequate self-care will help you speak less from your emotions and more from your grounded, centered self.
6. Set boundaries
With so much to do and so many interactions with others, boundaries can become blurred. Saying no is especially difficult, especially if you’re a people pleaser. But saying no while being considerate of the person can keep your relationship intact.
For example, if your boss wants you to do an extra task, start by saying how you would like to help and how important it is to you to be a reliable team member, but say that you simply don’t have the time. Setting boundaries and letting your boss know that you regret saying no can help you stay in her good graces.
It’s a difficult time and that’s why what you do to find positivity and peace is more important than ever. Be deliberate and thoughtful in your actions. Remember to embrace the lessons we can learn from the wise.
Author biography
Dr. Laura Gabayan is a world-renowned physician and expert in the field of research. Through her Wisdom Research Project, she interviewed 60 wise adults in North America and defined the 8 fundamental elements of wisdom. She describes her findings in her new book, Common Wisdom: 8 Scientific Elements of a Meaningful Life (Redwood Publishing, March 17, 2024). For more information, visit the wisdom research project
