The holidays should be a joyful time of year, but for those grieving the loss of a loved one, it can be an incredibly difficult and painful time. The memories of past celebrations, the empty chair at the dinner table, and the countless holiday traditions that now feel hollow can all contribute to intense feelings of sadness, loneliness, and grief.
However, you can find ways to honor your loved one’s memory and make space for your grief while also experiencing moments of peace and even joy during the holidays. Here are 10 tips to help you cope with loss during the holidays:
Embrace your emotions
Allow yourself to feel. Sadness comes in waves and the holidays can evoke strong emotions. You may feel sadness one moment, anger the next, or even moments of joy mixed with guilt.
Don’t try to ignore or suppress your feelings. Instead, be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to experience them. Suppressing emotions is possible increases stress and makes grieving more difficultso allow yourself to feel whatever is happening. Journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or simply letting yourself cry can all be helpful outlets.
Limit social obligations
The holidays are often filled with parties, gatherings and other social events. While staying connected is important, you are not required to attend all events.
Think about what traditions or gatherings you enjoy attending. It’s okay to say “no” to invitations that feel overwhelming. Instead, prioritize smaller gatherings or opt for quiet moments at home if that feels more comforting. Let close friends and family know about your plans, and don’t feel guilty about choosing what’s best for you.
Find ways to remember your loved one
Finding ways to honor your loved one can provide comfort as you work through the grieving process. For example:
- Light a candle every night in their memory.
- Place a special ornament on the tree.
- Dedicate a small space in your home to display photos or keepsakes.
Many people find comfort in giving back. Donating to a charity, volunteering or giving a gift in your loved one’s name can be a wonderful way to keep their memory alive. Consider supporting a cause that was meaningful to them and can provide a sense of connection and purpose during the holidays.
Stay away from triggers
Holiday traditions, music, and decorations sometimes serve as reminders of your loved one’s absence, deepening your grief. So limit your exposure to these triggers if they become overwhelming. For example, you might skip certain gatherings, avoid specific Christmas carols, or decorate differently this year. Just don’t feel guilty if this happens.
Manage financial stressors
An unexpected stressor that often arises after the death of a loved one is the financial burden associated with end-of-life arrangements. Funerals can cost anywhere from $5,000 to $25,000which can create additional pressure on top of emotional loss.
As you manage your loved one’s end-of-life tasks, consider taking them in small steps or delegating them to someone you trust. Better yet, get them ready well before the holidays. This approach helps reduce financial stress so you can focus on healing, knowing these details are under control.
Lean on supportive friends and family
Support from friends and family makes a big difference in your healing process. Lean on those who understand your loss and can provide comfort without judgment. Surround yourself with loved ones who encourage you to talk about your feelings or share memories of the person you have lost. Sometimes having a friend by your side can make difficult moments more bearable.
Prioritize self-care
Self-care is essential during times of grief, especially during the holidays, when additional stressors can exacerbate feelings of loss. Make time for activities that help you relax, whether that’s taking a walk in the park, reading a book, enjoying a warm bath, or getting plenty of rest.
Taking care of your physical health has a positive impact on your emotional well-being. These moments of self-love help keep stress levels low and relieves depression and anxiety, making you feel happier.
Keep your traditions alive (or not)
If certain holiday traditions bring comfort, consider keeping them. However, it is just as acceptable to let go or change traditions that feel too painful this year. Be open to trying something new, like volunteering or spending a day in nature. Whatever choice you make, prioritize what feels good and will help you best cope with your grief.
Practice gratitude for what you have
While this season can highlight what you’ve lost, it can also be a time to appreciate what you have. This doesn’t mean that you ignore your pain, but that you occasionally shift your focus to things or people that bring joy and comfort.
Practicing gratitude balances your emotions and brings peace. It helps you appreciate what matters most and increase happiness, which can promote cardiovascular health.
Consider professional help
A qualified mental health professional can provide you with techniques to help you process your feelings and develop healthy coping strategies. Many people find counseling and therapy helpful because it provides a safe space to discuss their grief openly.
Look ahead with gentle hope
During the holidays, give yourself the grace to anticipate small moments of joy. Healing from loss does not mean forgetting your loved one. It’s about allowing yourself to experience the present and find moments of happiness in a way that honors your journey.
While the holidays may never feel quite the same after a loss, you can still create a meaningful and gentle experience that respects both your grief and the memory of your loved one. Remember, it’s okay to adjust traditions or start new ones so you make room for healing in your own way.
