“I’ve tried mindfulness, but I can’t clear my head.”
If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone. One of the biggest myths about mindfulness is that it’s about silencing your thoughts or achieving some sort of blank mental state. But here’s the truth:
Mindfulness is not about emptying your mind
It’s about becoming aware of what’s going on in your head… without judgment. That change in approach can be powerful, especially if you’re feeling anxious. It’s also about focusing your awareness completely on the present moment (but more on that below, so keep reading!).
When fear arises, our thoughts often spiral. Our bodies are tense. Our breath becomes shorter. In those moments, trying to force calm or “shut off” your mind usually backfires. Instead of calming yourself down, you may feel like you’re not good enough at mindfulness, which only adds to your stress!
So what actually helps when you’re anxious?
Try these gentle techniques instead:
- Feel your feet on the ground. This simple act of grounding reorients you to the present moment and creates a sense of stability.
- Observe your breathing without trying to change it. Where do you feel it? In your chest, stomach, nose? Is it fast or slow, shallow or deep?
- Mention your experience with kindness. Try saying, “This is fear. It’s okay to feel this. I’m safe.” By naming what is happening, the fear response in the brain is deactivated.
- Place your hand on your heart. Research shows that this gesture activates the parasympathetic nervous system (your body’s natural calming mechanism).
And here are a few of my favorite science-based practices from my new book: 101 Mindfulness Exercises to Relieve Anxiety that provide fast, effective support when you’re feeling overwhelmed:
Box breathing
This structured breathing technique is often used by athletes, artists and even Navy SEALs to stay calm under pressure.
Here’s how to try it:
- Breathe in slowly through your nose for 4 seconds.
- Hold your breath for 4 seconds.
- Breathe out gently through your mouth for 4 counts.
- Hold your breath again for 4 counts.
- Repeat this for 4-6 rounds.
Box breathing helps regulate your nervous system, stabilize your thoughts, and gently bring your attention back to the present moment.
Legs against the wall
This restorative yoga pose is exactly what it sounds like: Lie on your back with your legs extended against a wall. For extra comfort, you can place a folded blanket or pillow under your hips.
Rest here for 5-10 minutes and let your breath flow naturally. This pose helps activate the body’s relaxation response, lowers your heart rate and calms the nervous system. It is especially useful when anxiety is accompanied by physical restlessness or fatigue.
For an extra dose of rest: Try combining Box Breathing while resting in Legs Up the Wall. The breathwork calms your mind while the pose relaxes your body, creating a full-body reset when you need it most.
Mindfulness is a practice of presence, not perfection
It’s not about doing it ‘right’. It’s about returning – again and again – with patience and compassion. Over time, mindfulness helps us create space between ourselves and our fears, creating room for clarity, calm and self-confidence.
If you’re curious to explore this further, my new book 101 Mindfulness Exercises to Relieve Anxiety offers bite-sized tools that are approachable, scientifically based and really work. Whether you have 30 seconds or a few minutes, there is something in it to support you.
Because you are worthy of peace, even in the messiness, even on hard days. Especially then.
Order your copy visit your favorite online bookseller today and start putting together your toolkit for calmer, more grounded days ahead.
Author biography
Ashton August is a leading author, yoga and meditation instructor, and wellness leader. Dedicated to promoting mindfulness and holistic wellness, she has built a thriving online community through her popular website YouAligned.com and app YouAligned Classes. Ashton has her MFA in Creative NonFiction Writing and has published three books: 101 Mindfulness Exercises to Relieve Anxiety, A year of self-motivation for women And Learn. To grow. Shift: 30 days of personal growth.
Her approachable and motivating style has made her a beloved figure in the wellness community, where she continues to inspire people to embrace a balanced, conscious lifestyle through her books, teacher trainings, workshops and retreats.
Connect with Ashton and read more on her website: ashtonaugust.com.
