RO Kwon asks her ancestors for help. Two jade rings in particular, passed down from her mother, serve as a direct line and source of comfort.
Ms. Kwon, an award-winning writer, wanted to be a Christian minister or a religious hermit as a child. She had, as she said herself, “how did it feel a conversation with the Lord.” But as a teenager she lost her faith. Now, Ms. Kwon’s writing explores the challenge of questioning long-held beliefs.
Her first novel, “The Incendiaries,” was about religion, while her second, “Exhibit,” published last month, is about hidden desires. She wanted to write a book that “centers on desire, including queer desire and kinky desire,” she said, because in the past she has felt “desperately alone in her desires like I do.”
Ms. Kwon, in an edited and condensed interview, shared how she turns to her ancestral jade rings for strength and the comfort of wearing them as she types.
Talk about the rings you wear.
They are double jade rings and they belong to my mother, who received them from her mother-in-law at her wedding. She had them throughout my childhood, but she only wore them on very special occasions, like my wedding.
How did the rings end up going from her hand to yours?
There are beliefs surrounding jade for Korean people that the stone can help ward off evil spirits and diseases; that it may have healing powers. My mother gave this to me when I was in the middle of a crisis with ‘Exhibit’, because I worked on it for nine years. She gave them to me to help.
Do you feel they have healing properties?
I feel more connected to my ancestors, and asking my ancestors for help feels much more available to me than asking a God I no longer believe in for help. So yes, they give me strength.
I grew up so religious. I thought I wanted to dedicate my life to serving the Lord. And when I was seventeen, I lost that faith. In some ways, that’s always part of what I write about. And I’ve been thinking about how, in losing the Christian faith I grew up with, I’ve also, in an important way, lost the ability to ask for help when I’m in trouble, because I prayed all the time. time.
Do you ever take the rings off?
I do. I keep them on hand and then I put them on when I especially need help, like a kind of talisman.
Is jade considered a ‘hard’ stone, like diamonds, or is it delicate?
I actually looked that up because I want to be careful with it. They are quite hard, but can certainly be cut. I’m not precious about them. I can feel them as I type. There is something very helpful about the physical contact I feel every time I move my fingers.
Do you hope that you can eventually pass the rings on to someone else, as they were passed on to you?
My paternal grandmother, who gave my mother these rings, unfortunately passed away a while ago. I certainly don’t plan on taking them to the grave.
If possible, I want a tree funeral. I want to return to the soil we are made of. Being a tree sounds great. And it sounds like a mythical transformation in a way that feels very satisfying. So yeah, there’s no need for jade to be hanging out there.
